Cambridge, Nov. 8 - While restricting calories and being underweight will make you live longer than other weight classes, it will also kill you sooner. Similarly, being overweight will make you more likely to die of heart disease or cancer, yet will make you live longer.

These are just some of the contradictions being thrown at us every day by a never-ending stream of contradictory studies. New research helps explain why this is happening.

The Federal Association of Research Tracking has conducted the largest ever study into the research of research and their results are startling.

Analyzing 34,000 research papers published over the past two decades, their results indicates that the conclusions of 83% of studies are contradicted by at least eight studies within five years of publication.

Studies that contradicted previous studies had a similar future rate of contradiction.

"Basically researchers have no clue," admitted Hugh Jass, head of F.A.R.T. "I have no clue why we have no clue, but I am requesting funding to investigate our lack of clue."

When asked if the the study included studies on global warming. Jass responded. "I have no idea, no clue, really.